Happy 5th Birthday Zoelle

Dear Zoelle,

Today you turn 5! Five whole years old! I can hardly believe it! I know I say it every year in my letter to you, but time really is going too fast. 5 years ago on this night, I was laboring in a birth tub, hoping and praying that you would be born on the 17^th because I love odd numbers. Instead, you made me labor all day long and into the early hours of the night before you were born.

Lately you have been asking me to hold you a lot, and I cherish it as much as I can. Let me hold you longer little one, for I know this time is all too short. You sit on my lap and with that smile only you have, you say to me, “Mom, do you know what?” and you go on to explain to me something you recently learned. You snuggle deep into my arms and ask me to read you a story. While we read, you play with my hair, the same as you have always done since you were just a tiny baby nursing at my breast.

Zoelle and I on Mother's Day

When you aren’t looking, I often just watch you or stare at you. You are beautiful! With your white blonde hair, gorgeous color of blue eyes, and that smile that can light up any room. I often catch myself singing Christina Aguilera’s song “Beautiful” to you. I don’t know why, but sometimes I think you need to hear that.

Your constant quest to learn more about life and all that surrounds you never ceases to amaze me. You love to learn, to read, to do math, to sing, to play piano. Lately, I have caught you climbing onto my lap while I’m reading a book on my Kindle, and I hear you quietly sound out the words. You are smart little one. Never take that for granted and always use it to help others.

Snuggling close to your sister.

This fall you are supposed to go off to Kindergarten. I say supposed to because I am having my doubts. Once again the doubts come because you are smart and because we now moved to the country. Plus when we aren’t stubborn with each other, it is a joy to teach you! Daddy and I are continuing to pray for God’s guidance in that area of your life. Same as we are in the other areas of your life.

One day when you read these letters, I hope and pray that my love for you comes through. I know I am not a perfect mama, and I know that we fight more than the other girls do with me. However, that doesn’t mean I love you less. Instead, I see so much of myself in you and it scares me a bit. I pray that God will use that drive, that spirit, that determination for Him.

She's five!

The next time you whisper to yourself, “I can do anything” like I heard you whispering softly as you snuggled up to me in bed this morning, know that you can, with God by your side honey, you can.

I love you and I’m praying for the best Happy Birthday ever!

Love, Mama